Contentment

A friend pointed out to me the other day that my blog posts have been pretty happy lately, and she was wondering if things were going especially well for me. That got me thinking- am I actually happier than I've been in awhile? If so, why? What's different? And I decided that it may not be so much happiness, but rather contentment that has changed my view of the world. For the first time in a long time, I am not going through a transition period. My life has settled down, and I find myself finally being able to be in the now, rather than fret about the future.

Starting around Max's first birthday, Paul and I realized that we could not keep up our current lifestyle much longer. We were both working, and I was bringing Max with me to work every day. I am so thankful that my church allowed me to tote him with for so long, but as he got more active, it got harder and harder. Daycare was not financially viable, and I really didn't want to go that direction anyways. My mother-in-law was a lifesaver (as were Patrick and Liam!!) because she would take him whenever I had something to get done... but the stress of balancing motherhood and my job was really getting to me.

When Paul was offered a job in Minnesota in February of '09, it was the answer to prayer! His wages would support us all, allowing me to stay home with Max, and hopefully we could begin to grow our family... (hmmm, foreshadowing much?) But the downside was that he had to be in St. Paul in TWO WEEKS! They needed him by the beginning of March, but our lease wasn't up until the end of April- plus I had a ton of events going on for the end of the school year at Blessed Sacrament. So, we made the hard decision to live apart for two months- me and Max in Rapid City, and Paul in Burnsville (With my parents, no less!), knowing that we would look back and it would be barely a blip on the radar of our lives- thanks for the great perspective, Dad. It's already proven true.

Finally, as April came to an end, I said goodbye to my wonderful church family and to my days as a youth minister. I packed up and moved the last of our things to Minnesota, where I would join Paul at my parents' home as we began our house hunt.

The next six months were a blur- we were searching for a home every spare moment, and I soon found out that I was pregnant! Joyful news, but another level of stress as I battled morning sickness (coupled with motion sickness) while we endlessly circled the Twin Cities on our hunt. After five failed attempts at bidding on a house (outbid every time), we were finally successful in September! Looking back, I'm so glad we ended up exactly where we did. It was worth the headache and heartache along the way.

We closed on our house on October 15, 2009, then took the next month to make the home our own. Paul's dad came to help us out (without him, the project would have either taken 10 times as long or cost 3 times as much!) and finally in mid-November, we moved into our home! Really, it was not a moment too soon, because I was very pregnant at this point, and we were starting to have some preterm labor difficulties. From about October on, I never really knew if I'd be pregnant the next week or not! Thankfully, we made it to January... January 24 at 5:30 am, to be exact!

We welcomed Lucian into our family with excitement and joy, and not just a little stress. Sleeplessness, nursing difficulties, juggling two children- all of these things made for the first few months of Lucian's life to be, simply put, hard.

I would say around his 5 month birthday, I really began to feel like myself again. Every day since then has been better and better, and now that he's 8 months old, I've been at a good place for a whole quarter of a year! I'm getting out around town, meeting neighbors and St. Joe's parishioners, and finally feeling like I can do this homemaker thing!

Even with life getting turned upside-down every few months, the last year and a half has been wonderful! All of the changes have been good, but now I finally feel like I can sit back, relax, and settle in... well, at least metaphorically. I don't see any real relaxation on the horizon. But that's ok, because I have the "peace of God that surpasses all understanding"... I am content.