And Another One Gone

You've all heard me talk about what a klutz I can be, but maybe until now you just thought I was exaggerating for comedic effect. Rest assured, ladies and gentlemen, there is no exaggeration here! I have reached a new level of clumsiness, and I'm not ashamed to share it with you.

Since Paul and I have been married, I have made it a habit of breaking glasses. Seriously, it happens all the time. And in the entire five years of our marriage, how many glasses has Paul broken? None. That's right, none. Every glass we've lost has been my fault (well, except maybe one... but I'll get to that later). And to top it all off, I have even managed to break a Corelle bowl. You know Corelle? The unbreakable dishes? We got them for that reason alone- they are unbreakable. Except in my hands, apparently.

But most often the victim is a glass, usually a tumbler. For some reason, the shape and the size of a tumbler makes it a perfect target for my butterfingers. We were down to one tumbler (from a set of six), so we decided to pick up a new set from Ikea recently. I kid you not, the FIRST TIME I was putting them away after washing them, I cracked one. It had not even been used. Cripes.

For the fun of it, we decided to take an inventory of our glasses to see how many were actually missing. Were we blowing this out of proportion? Had I really broken as many glasses as I thought I had?

So we went through our cupboard. One tumbler remaining from the original six meant I had broken five. Plus one broken from the new set of six Ikea tumblers. Then we realized we only have three water glasses... that means another three broken by yours truly. And finally the shot glass that had made its way into the garbage disposal without my knowledge that shattered when I flipped the switch. (Needless to say, I always check the disposal before use now.) Personally, I don't think that one's my fault, but Paul's not so sure.  For his sake, I'll count it in the total.  So let's see... calculators out!

5 original tumblers
1 Ikea tumbler
3 water glasses
1 shot glass

Equals 10 broken glasses. If Paul had even broken one, I would be only ten times more clumsy than him... but since his total is at ZERO, that makes me infinitely more likely to break a drinking glass. Oy. I am not good for this family's budget.