Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Spring Cleaning

Lent: a time to clean up my interior mess...

Holy Week is here, and I look back and wonder... where has Lent gone? Usually I feel as though the season of Lent drags on and on, and I spend my time waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel. Don't get me wrong, I really do love Lent- it's a time to reflect on God's work in my life, and how well (or poorly) I've been responding to Him. It's a time to join our tiny little sacrifices to Christ's Sacrifice on the Cross in hopes that we can understand even in the smallest way what a great Gift our Savior is.

But to be honest, I generally spend less time meditating on the Cross and more time meditating on how many days are left until I can eat my chocolate again. I think that's what was different about this year. In addition to the usual "giving something up", I decided to make it a point to take some serious steps to kick my prayer life into gear. And through these whirlwind forty days, I've been getting hit over the head with three different themes again and again and again and again.

The first is humility. Book club women, you can probably guess where this one came from! There is not a page in St. Teresa's Interior Castle that doesn't deal with the virtue of humility. Literally everything hinges on the understanding that without God, we can do nothing. Really, nothing. St. Teresa doesn't mince words when it comes to this one, and as hard as it is to hear, it's true that nothing good I've ever done has come from my own power.

The second is penance. I have been reminded that even though everything is in God's hands, He still welcomes my small gifts, my small sacrifices, whatever I am able to offer Him. Every time I take a hard situation and offer the hardship as a gift to Him, He takes it and multiplies it a trillion-fold and pours it right back out onto us. I should be welcoming every little injustice, every sideways glance, every papercut as an opportunity to suffer with Christ Crucified for the sake of the world.

The third, and my favorite to think about, is mercy. I said before that I am learning that without God I can do nothing. But the important counterpoint is that with God I can do EVERYTHING! Not just some things or most things, but EVERYTHING. Because of His great mercy, we have become His daughters and sons- all we have to do is say "yes" every day to the gift He offers us.

So this week is Holy Week already, but instead of thinking about Lent coming to an end- back to the daily grind- I have decided to take my Lenten resolutions into the Easter season and beyond. I don't know if the clarity I have right now will last, but I'm planning to keep the windows of my soul squeaky-clean as long as I can!

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